Diane Tessman's Alien Overlords

American Diane Tessman, "internationally respected as an amazingly accurate prophet", uses her gift of precognition to predict natural and man-made disasters.

...or does she?

(Image credit)

Diane's advert in the UK edition of Nexus magazine (available here) had me chuckling in amusment.

"RECEIVE FREE CHANGE TIMES QUARTERLY! Receive via priority international post, the current issue of the most accurate predictions of crises and catastrophes... CTQ has been advising readers for 30 years of disasters before they happen, whether they are financial, natural, or man-made environmental disasters. Diane Tessman is internationally respected as an amazingly accurate prophet of all that is unfolding, having warned about many specific crises since 1983..."

After a visit to her website I found that her "amazingly accurate" past predictions were not so impressive.

"...The breaking up of the Larsen Ice Shelf in recent years, was predicted by me in 1984... The downward spiral of the U.S. and global economies... I predicted 3 months ago (December, 2010) that U.S. nuclear plants would have to close due to leaks or problems, 1 week later, 2 U.S. nuclear plants closed temporarily due to leaks and problems... I [predicted] the [New Zealand] 7.0 quake which... almost leveled the city of Christchurch..."

Diane's future predictions for 2012 are a little more interesting. Many of them are obvious to anyone with a GCSE in geography, but predictions nine and ten are very exciting indeed.

1. Fracking [horizontal drilling for gas] will cause a terrible shortage of pure, clean water...

2. MRSA and CRKP infections will spread like wildfire, turning what is already a global health threat, into a real global panic...

3. Contamination through radioactivity and the rapidly dwindling fish populations across the planet, will make many kinds of fish such as cod, which we take for granted as always there for us, very rare and almost impossible to find...

4. The Pacific Ring of Fire will continue to go through a violently active period when both earthquakes and volcanoes continue to cause enormous and frequent catastrophes which in the past, had been rare events...

5. The Arctic Ocean will soon be open water all winter long...

6. There will be more nuclear accidents and/or serious damage to nuclear installations due to huge catastrophes...

7. The powers-that-be on Earth will continue trying to control the population of humans through disinformation and misinformation...

8. In the near future, more humans will break from the control mechanism of mass consumerism and gluttonous materialism, finally perceiving that this is the road to doomsday. This revolution will occur partially because of desperation over growing levels of radioactivity...

9. There will be intentional Internet leaks of top secret government documents which prove conclusively that extraterrestrials and other-dimensionals have been flying in Earth skies and landing on Earth soil, for many years now...

10. Landings by UFO occupants will happen very soon. Friendship will be extended...

While we're waiting for the arrival of our new alien overlords, here's a little ASA complaint.

"I'm writing to complain about an advert in the UK edition of Nexus magazine (Apr-May 2011, p17).

The advert, for Diane Tessman, promotes the magazine "Change Times Quarterly".

1. "RECEIVE FREE CHANGE TIMES QUARTERLY! Receive via priority international post, the current issue of the most accurate predictions of crises and catastrophes... CTQ has been advising readers for 30 years of disasters before they happen, whether they are financial, natural, or man-made environmental disasters. Diane Tessman is internationally respected as an amazingly accurate prophet of all that is unfolding, having warned about many specific crises since 1983..."

I'd like to challenge whether the advertiser can substantiate her claims that she can predict "financial, natural or man-made disasters" "before they happen" "amazingly accurately".

I can confirm that I have no connections with the advertiser."